So you’ve decided to get married. You brought the ring, you proposed and she said yes. The scrap books have come out, the dress has been bought, the venue has been booked and color palettes chosen. You are already doing the wedding cake selection. Now What? Women seem to be more prepared for these things. A woman has been preparing for the big day since she hit puberty, so she has always known what she wants and how she wants it. Men on the other hand, aren’t like that. That’s what the best man is there for.
Most men will pick their best friends for this role. It’s tradition and there really is nothing wrong with it but it’s your wedding – The most important date of your life. It is also your future bride’s big day. The one day in her life she will get to fill like a princess. Nothing should go wrong. This means you should make sure that the best man can do a stellar job. Your best mate might not be the most responsible person in the world and maybe he might be looking for vengeance for your own bad handling of his own bucks party. There should be other options and there are. How can you go about choosing the best person to be the best man? That one responsible guy who can still manage to round up the lads and sober them up enough for the wedding.
Make a list of at least three people guys you are close to, who you absolutely trust.
- List the potential candidates’ strengths and weaknesses.
While the bucks party is important, it isn’t the only thing that should be keeping your would-be best man. He has to make sure that you have done everything you need to do. Found a suit, attend fittings, get the groomsmen together for their own fitting, make sure you have a speech (or write one for you). Is he the kind of person who can score the best VIP booth in a club? Does he know anything about strippers or getting bucks night strippers?
- Pick your best man early.
Guys are good at postponing things and they will leave things to the last minute. They could also be assuming, without asking that the best man will be your best friend. Assumptions are dangerous. Even if you do have a best bud you’ve known since you were 5, they may not be too keen on taking up all that responsibility. Remember that the best man has to forego most of the craziness that will go on at a stag party to keep his mind sharp for all the myriad of things that still need to happen before the groom makes it before the minister or the judge.
- Avoid the family trap.
So you have brothers and your bride has male Family too. Don’t get bullied into choosing someone from the family just because everyone thinks you should. Dad is a great choice and your uncle too. Think about your cousins whilst you are at it too, like a free weekend away on his boat.
- Pick your best man early on in the process.
This seems simple enough but the amount of times we’ve heard of blokes putting it off and then forgetting about it happens more often than you think. So make sure you pick your best man early on in the process so you know who’s got your back right from the start.
- Get the best man and the bride to meet at some point.
Get them to hang out and get to know each other if for some reason they have not. You want your future wife and the mother of your unborn children to get along with your best friend. If she is dead-set against strippers then he should be able to reassure her or if you have the kind of friend that can sell anything to anyone, then he might sway her into letting you get away with this one thing. They don’t have to be best friends but they have to get along.
- Choose someone you really trust.
Your best man should know exactly what the kind of bucks night strippers you would like. He would know that you are scared of heights and won’t book some extreme adventure activities like bungee jumping. He is going to have to put all this together, make sure no one loses a limb or wakes up in hospital with one missing kidney. You want the kind of person who can handle problems, get things back on track when they are out of hand. Guide your best man and let him know what you might appreciate.